Shopping for gifts during the holidays can be stressful. It could be the stress of an overcrowded mall, the difficulty of choosing the perfect gift, the frustration of delivery delays, or the financial hit.
What is the point? Why not just focus on family, food, and friends during the holidays? Wouldn’t it be better for everyone to spend their money on the things they really want?
Gift exchanges can seem impractical and wasteful. Social scientific research shows that the benefits and costs of gift-giving may not be as they appear.
The Kula ring
During his fieldwork, anthropologist Bronislaw Malinowski observed an elaborate tradition of the Massim. The island communities of the Massim people maintained a complex exchange system centered around shell necklaces and armbands. Each gift was first given to individuals and then passed on between islands. This circle became known as the ” Kula Ring.”
They had no commercial or practical value. Customs prohibited the sale of these artifacts. Since the objects were constantly on the go, the owners wore them very little. The Massim made long journeys in their canoes to exchange things, risking their lives as they sailed the dangerous waters of the Pacific Ocean.
The Massim invest considerable time, effort, and resources in exchanging trinkets. David Kirkland/Design Pics from Getty Images.
It is hard to believe that this is a good use of resources and time. Anthropologists realized that Kula played a crucial role in cultivating human connections.
These gifts, while not free, were given with the expectation that they would be repaid in the future. They created a mutual responsibility cycle, which resulted in a web of reciprocal relationships that encompassed the entire community.
The Giving Effect
Around the globe, societies engage in similar exchanges. Gift-giving is a part of corporate culture in many Asian countries. These symbolic gifts, just like the Massim, facilitate business relationships.
The custom of exchanging gifts during the holidays is common in many parts of the Western World. Many families spend a lot of time and money buying gifts for loved ones on occasions like Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa.
The practice appears wasteful when viewed through a cold, logical lens. All of us have to pay for the things that others own. Some gifts are returned or left unused. Everyone would be better off if no one gave gifts.
Psychological research, however, suggests the opposite.
Studies have shown that spending on others makes us feel better than lavishing on ourselves. Neuroscientists found that giving a gift or making a donation lit up the reward circuitry in the brain more than receiving one. The joy of giving a gift is longer lasting than the pleasure of receiving it.
We can spread gratitude by exchanging gifts. As families and friends are familiar with each other’s preferences, tastes, and needs, everyone will likely receive what they originally wanted, and this will bring them closer together.
Connecting webs
Ritualized sharing is not just between families but also within them. Consider birthdays, weddings, or baby showers. The guests are expected to bring an item of value. They and their hosts keep track of these gifts, and the receivers of the facility are expected to return the favor with a similar present in the future.
This exchange has multiple purposes. The business provides material support to the hosts during difficult transitional times, such as when starting a family. For guests, the gifts are like money invested in a fund that can be used to host when they become the hosts. The donations also help to elevate the status of both the givers and the receiver. This allows the recipient to be in a position where they can organize a lavish event that is partly or entirely funded by guests. These exchanges are important because they help create a network of rites between families.
It is also common for politicians to give gifts to foreign leaders or diplomats. French officials are known for giving bottles of wine, while Italian leaders have been known to provide trendy ties.
Some diplomatic gifts are more unusual. In 1972, when President Richard Nixon was in China, Chairman Mao Zedong gave two giant pandas named Ling Ling and Hsing Hsing to the National Zoo of Washington, D.C. sent two oxen back to China.
AP photo/Charles Tasnadi
Sharing has always been a central part of many rituals, from the exchange of shells by Pacific Islanders to the gifts placed under the Christmas tree. This exchange is fundamentally different than other forms of business like barter or trade.
To the Massim, trading yams for fish is not the equivalent of exchanging shells for armbands, just as giving money for groceries is not the equivalent of giving a birthday gift.
It also speaks to the general rule that ceremonial acts are not as they seem. Ritual actions are not useful, unlike normal behaviors. This very lack of utility is what makes them so special.
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