Imagine a scene of giddy children opening presents, parents observing the chaos in their once tidy homes, and relatives who are disgruntled muttering into a third glass of Sherry. These are all familiar scenes around Christmas when social obligations and the festive season bring people together.
It is natural for this type of event to take place. The human species is a social one, regardless of personal preferences. People may not realize that traditional celebrations bring more people, more stress, and can also magnify emotions. The moods are more agitated, the tears flow faster, and sometimes, it seems that joy is radiating from everyone’s face.
Read more: How mindfulness could give you the gift of a calmer Christmas.
But how far can these magnified emotions be trusted? You’re likely to have gushed over the gift you can’t wait to return to the store on Boxing Day, and you’ve probably gritted your teeth and kept quiet while Uncle Frank begins a sentence with “I’m not racist, but …” The reality is that most of us have faked the facial expression we know is expected of us at the moment, knowing that others will be doing the same. And that is perfectly natural, too.
Faking it
Your face will usually reflect what’s going on inside your head and body. Face expressions can be a good way to understand and communicate feelings. They are reliable and traditionally cut through cultural and linguistic differences.
They are also more complex than simple human signals – combining a variety of functions. They include behavior requests, like the quivering lips that tell someone you need comfort, as well as intention indicators. For example, your mother’s thunderous gaze can convey exactly what you will face if you do not behave. Facial displays of other animals indicate that this range has been shaped by evolutionary forces in order to help us survive and thrive today.
In the modern world, having a face that only reflects what you are really feeling or thinking would be a disadvantage. In social situations, you are governed by cultural rules that dictate when to smile and frown or shake your head with confusion. The difference between a real smile and a fake one is in how your face reacts.
Read more: Emotions: how humans regulate them and why some people can’t
Take your fake smile at the latest hideous gift from Aunt Mabel. How can someone tell you’re not really delighted? A natural expression is spontaneous – it can’t be produced to order, whereas its manufactured alter ego, the facial action, can be summoned at will.
Timing is also different. The natural expressions only last for a few moments, but you can control the length of time they appear on your face by controlling facial actions. Fake words do not always have the same muscle movements as their real counterparts. The “Duchenne Smile, “named after its originator scientist, is a genuine smile that involves muscle movement around the mouth and eyes. A mandatory grin is more likely only to activate the mouth muscles. It seems that “-smizing,” or smiling with both your eyes and mouth, is the best way to show others you are truly happy.
The ‘Duchenne’ smile is a natural, spontaneous expression that involves the contraction of both eye and mouth muscles. Kirschner Amao/Unsplash, CC BY-SA
Several psychological processes can be used to change natural expressions into something more acceptable in social situations. A fake phrase can be used to cover a genuine one. “Simulation” refers to a situation where a false emotion is substituted, such as laughing at a joke you don’t understand. When people are trying to neutralize or hide their true feelings, they keep a “straight face.” Why do people bother with this? It requires effort from the brain and body.
Read more: Is newborn smiling really just a reflex? Research is challenging the textbooks.
The answer may lie in theories of facial expression that ignore the importance of a person’s emotional state. These theories emphasize the social environment and suggest that interpersonal signals, intentions, and shared social contact dominate how and why people use their expressive faces. And this makes sense when it’s assumed that facial displays take place in front of an audience, real or imagined. In other words, why communicate if there’s no one to share with? So, the real question seems to revolve around who our facial expressions are for.
You can make your choice easier if you put this in a Christmas context. Your face will reveal your true feelings and thoughts, even if only briefly. You may choose to prioritize goodwill and peace in your family gatherings, which means that the unwritten rules for social interaction will take precedence. It’s often said that it is the thought that counts. So maybe you can keep that smile on for a bit longer.
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